The girls and I were outside sitting under a tree a few weeks ago embarking on a "nature sit." (Don't judge me...it was 105 degrees outside and way too hot for a walk.) I had taken my phone outside with me, which I don't always do. We were enjoying the stifling breeze, listening to the birds and the wind through the trees. Then, I got a text. I looked at my phone and responded quickly. My oldest daughter looked at me dejectedly and said, "Mommy, there was a sparrow in the fountain but you missed it."
I missed it. I miss a lot of things.
We live in a world that esteems distractions as the principle purpose for our lives. "Where does the time go?" Oh, how many times I have uttered those words at the end of a day! The mere verbage of the phrase suggests that time is something that can, in fact, go somewhere. That is a lie. Time doesn't fly...we do.
Lately, I've felt a strong conviction about this. Time is fixed. We never get it back and, once wasted, it is no more. Quoted in Little Town on the Prairie is a solemn truth we should all take to heart:
Lost, between sunrise and sunset,
One golden hour, set with sixty diamond minutes.
No reward is offered, for it is gone forever.
Gone forever. Just like the elusive bird.
What a beautiful picture of the time with which God has blessed us. It makes me shudder to think I have used even one moment of that treasured time frivolously. Yet, every night I lay my head on my pillow and am seldom completely confident I used every minute to God's glory. I am rarely sure I have given my all to my God and my family. And, just like that...the day vanishes as I slumber...gone forever.
Our life is a series of moments, knit together to create a lifetime. At the end of that lifetime, all we have is the memories we have made and the mark we have left.
I made a list of my priorities last week. Guess what isn't on the list? Facebook. Texting. Now I believe these to be important tools that have allowed us to feel connected while at home. But true priorities in my life? Not really. Yet how many precious moments are spent checking in on how others are spending their days while mine slips away, unnoticed?
I want more. I want to honor God with my words AND my time. I want to lay my head down at night and feel a peace in my heart about the way I've spent that precious day. We all serve something or someone...what or whom we serve will be etched onto the moments of our life. I want to serve Jesus. Wholly. Completely. Righteously. Without blame. Without distraction.
Our children fly into our lives much like the sparrow into the fountain. They wash their soul in the water of our instruction and love. Then, they spread their wings and are gone. It grieves me to think I might miss it because I was looking at my phone.